Nothing to Live for
by MsFemaleGamerUK
Summary: Shepard still has to fight Reapers, Kaidan died back on Virmire but her love for him is still strong, With Anderson dead and the love of her life is dead, She has nothing else to live for. ash and her friends tries to convince her to live again


**I am not sure how long this will be, But I Had this Idea of : What if Kaidan Died on Virmire and Shepard had strong feelings for him, that at the battle on Earth( I Am going off the Indoctrination Theory, But Anderson Actually Died) Shepard just wanted to die But in those Dream sequences during the game instead of the young Boy she see's Kaidan. I am not sure what else to write for this. So until then Enjoy what I have so far. Happy Reading**

**with the help of txmn1016 from the Bsn forum, who Beta'd my story**

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Shepard was lying in some grass; she felt the dirt in her hands as a figure approached her and smiled.

"Hey."

She looked at him and instantly recognised him as her old teammate Kaidan, who died on Virmire. While he was on the Normandy, she used to flirt with him. But at that time she knew instantly that she had fallen in love with him.

"Am I dead?" she asked.

He nodded, "But you aren't finished yet...the Reapers are still fighting."

She sat up, "I'm too tired to fight...I have been fighting for too long. I need a rest."

He stroked her face and placed his hand on her chin. "Once the Reapers are dealt with you can come back to me... we both know what we feel. So fight to your last breathe and I will be waiting for your return. I promise."

She just smiled.

On Earth, Ashley and Javik were near her body. She was unconscious, but alive. Javik touched her forehead with one finger and saw what she saw.

"I see...A man called Kaidan... there pheromones tell me they have deep feelings for one another..."

Ashley responded, "Kaidan...yeah he died on Virmire. She took it the hardest when he died. Never knew she felt that way about him...she never talks about him to anyone...she never mentioned she felt that way about him either."

They both paused as more Reaper forces headed their way.

"C'mon Shepard wake up...this battlefield needs you," Ashley spoke.

Meanwhile

The place was windy and she had her hands in Kaidan's.

"If I never died would I still be the one you want to be with?"

She looked at him "Of course...I would even risk my career over it. If you don't risk it all then it ain't worth it."

He placed a hand on her shoulder and his other hand on her cheek.

"You do have to get over me sooner or later"

She just nodded.

"I couldn't. No one could ever replace you. When I died the first time I hoped I would meet you wherever you were...but then I was resurrected."

She continued, "With Anderson gone, and when this war is over, my life will be fulfilled. I will have no one and nothing to live for any more. My job will be done and I hope I can rejoin you again"

He placed his lips on hers and their tongues began to dance. She placed a hand around his neck and the other on his chest.

Back on Earth Javik saw it all. She started to open her eyes and began to cough. They were in a dark tunnel surrounded by injured soldiers, both human and alien. Ashley was by her side.

"Hey," she spoke.

Shepard wiped her head and responded, "The Reapers."

Ashley nodded. "Still fighting."

Ashley spoke again, "So your dream...about Kaidan...you don't talk much about him."

"Ash..."

Ashley responded, "Javik wanted to see if you were OK. He saw your dream about Kaidan. He said your pheromones said you both had deep feelings for each other...and that you also shared a deep passionate kiss."

Shepard sighed, "I'm sorry I don't speak much about him...when I do it just makes me feel so sad...I don't want that."

Ashley grabbed her arm.

"He said you have nothing to live for any more...But it isn't true. You have friends, the Normandy is also your family...when this is over I want you to stay with us. Please."

Shepard saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Ash...I'm so sorry...I just can't... I belong with him. When I'm here fighting I don't think I can do it any more...I want to rejoin him. You will mourn me, but you'll get over it. Me, I won't ever get over Kaidan. My heart breaks every time I'm alone, or when we aren't on missions...or when I just sleep...I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry."


End file.
